it’s the way your putting a salve over my fresh wound of ending something w someone who 1) I was settling for while 2) projecting an idea of who they were, who they could be, and who I wanted them to be. so thank you. also the references, so immaculate
thank u! i am so glad u found this piece when u did. when i was GOING THROUGH IT with this guy it would have been nice to learn about limerence and projection. and yes -- definitely do not settle. one day you'll find someone who is much more like the person you want in your head, and will meet your hopes and expectations. thank you for appreciating the references too <3
The person with a master’s in literature absolutely loves this analysis and the past dating disaster hard relates to this toxic projecting. 🙈😬🤣 So astute and wise for your age! I wish I’d been wise in my 20s. 🫶🏻❤️
thank you so much Elaine I always love your comments! and so nice to hear literary analysis praise from a fellow graduate lit expert :) this break up was painful but i am grateful for the wisdom it gave me
I have many thoughts about this (wonderfully written btw) article. 1) vaginal juices as perfume, does it work!? 2) The transactional “for” logic was spot on. 3) I cannot relate to the music you mentioned but I assume it's a generational thing, nothing else to note 4) 'the girlfriend experience' isn't bad! I've done it myself many times, I wanted to be the perfect girlfriend, date and take care of someone as if we were in love, but never hiding the fact that it had an expiry date. it would not have lasted but I was there to have a good time. it also must be disclosed and approved by both parties. it's not for everyone as a concept, I get that.
Barbs thank you so much! i wrote this piece truly from the heart so it means a lot to get kind feedback like this.
1) i really think so. i only used it that one time because, not to flex, but usually i do not have a hard time reeling men in. or maybe im worried it's too powerful to use on a casual affair. either way we did sleep with each other that day so....
2) thank you for appreciating the transactional analysis!!! i am glad that made sense and resonated
3) hahahahahaahaha no worries although i do recommend giving charli xcx and lorde a try
4) OK this is interesting and something i am thinking about right now. i am seeing someone who i like but don't see a super love-y committed future with. but i enjoy her company and hanging out and having sex with her and she's really attractive. i am asking myself the question: can two people just go out and have dates and sleep together a few times a week, for several months, without any intention of commitment? it feels weird to continue something without progressing it, so to speak. but maybe i can adjust my mindset so i can have a temporary girlfriend
I've heard "Green Light" by Sonic Youth many times, and it never occurred to me until now that it might have been a Gatsby reference which is a little embarrassing. EVOL (love spelled backwards, obviously) is an old record, released in 1986 when I was 3 years old. Haha.
WOW thank you for introducing me to this song. I was born 15 years after it came out so I'm not as familiar, but this is haunting rock? that's the first word that comes to mind. the way the sounds and menacing roar of the music slowly speed up like a train about to collide with a family of deer or something. then it slowly dies out like the eerie howl of a train that's dangling off track. the lyrics are definitely gatsby/about daisy, and what it's like to be a man like gatsby who loves a woman like daisy. the green light is such a powerful, eternal symbol and metaphor.
The early years of Sonic Youth were really something special. Kim Gordon released a memoir called "Girl in a Band" a few years ago that was pretty popular so I thought there was an outside chance you'd heard of that. They came out of the whole No Wave music scene in late 70s early 80s NYC, along with other bands like the Swans. They made a lot of noisy, avant-garde music. The Gatsby green light metaphor really is timeless.
Found a lot of this relatable as someone who had their first experience with romantic rejection late in life and took it very poorly. You’ve got a knack for writing 👍
Damn they out here writing full book reports go off queen.
my only claim to fame as an english major
it’s the way your putting a salve over my fresh wound of ending something w someone who 1) I was settling for while 2) projecting an idea of who they were, who they could be, and who I wanted them to be. so thank you. also the references, so immaculate
thank u! i am so glad u found this piece when u did. when i was GOING THROUGH IT with this guy it would have been nice to learn about limerence and projection. and yes -- definitely do not settle. one day you'll find someone who is much more like the person you want in your head, and will meet your hopes and expectations. thank you for appreciating the references too <3
The person with a master’s in literature absolutely loves this analysis and the past dating disaster hard relates to this toxic projecting. 🙈😬🤣 So astute and wise for your age! I wish I’d been wise in my 20s. 🫶🏻❤️
thank you so much Elaine I always love your comments! and so nice to hear literary analysis praise from a fellow graduate lit expert :) this break up was painful but i am grateful for the wisdom it gave me
*this analysis being a Great Gatsby reading 📖
I have many thoughts about this (wonderfully written btw) article. 1) vaginal juices as perfume, does it work!? 2) The transactional “for” logic was spot on. 3) I cannot relate to the music you mentioned but I assume it's a generational thing, nothing else to note 4) 'the girlfriend experience' isn't bad! I've done it myself many times, I wanted to be the perfect girlfriend, date and take care of someone as if we were in love, but never hiding the fact that it had an expiry date. it would not have lasted but I was there to have a good time. it also must be disclosed and approved by both parties. it's not for everyone as a concept, I get that.
Barbs thank you so much! i wrote this piece truly from the heart so it means a lot to get kind feedback like this.
1) i really think so. i only used it that one time because, not to flex, but usually i do not have a hard time reeling men in. or maybe im worried it's too powerful to use on a casual affair. either way we did sleep with each other that day so....
2) thank you for appreciating the transactional analysis!!! i am glad that made sense and resonated
3) hahahahahaahaha no worries although i do recommend giving charli xcx and lorde a try
4) OK this is interesting and something i am thinking about right now. i am seeing someone who i like but don't see a super love-y committed future with. but i enjoy her company and hanging out and having sex with her and she's really attractive. i am asking myself the question: can two people just go out and have dates and sleep together a few times a week, for several months, without any intention of commitment? it feels weird to continue something without progressing it, so to speak. but maybe i can adjust my mindset so i can have a temporary girlfriend
I've heard "Green Light" by Sonic Youth many times, and it never occurred to me until now that it might have been a Gatsby reference which is a little embarrassing. EVOL (love spelled backwards, obviously) is an old record, released in 1986 when I was 3 years old. Haha.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtN2Ni4J44o
Good piece.
WOW thank you for introducing me to this song. I was born 15 years after it came out so I'm not as familiar, but this is haunting rock? that's the first word that comes to mind. the way the sounds and menacing roar of the music slowly speed up like a train about to collide with a family of deer or something. then it slowly dies out like the eerie howl of a train that's dangling off track. the lyrics are definitely gatsby/about daisy, and what it's like to be a man like gatsby who loves a woman like daisy. the green light is such a powerful, eternal symbol and metaphor.
The early years of Sonic Youth were really something special. Kim Gordon released a memoir called "Girl in a Band" a few years ago that was pretty popular so I thought there was an outside chance you'd heard of that. They came out of the whole No Wave music scene in late 70s early 80s NYC, along with other bands like the Swans. They made a lot of noisy, avant-garde music. The Gatsby green light metaphor really is timeless.
Found a lot of this relatable as someone who had their first experience with romantic rejection late in life and took it very poorly. You’ve got a knack for writing 👍